You'll Laugh, You'll Cry, They'll Become a Part of You
Join me now in enjoying these philosophical renderings...

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others." --Groucho Marx 
"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate." --George Burns 
"There is nothing so stupid as an educated man if you get off the thing he was educated in." --Will Rogers 
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." --Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962 
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." -- Bill Cosby 
"Common sense is not so common." --Voltaire 
"If it's a good script, I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it." --George Burns 
"Golf is a good walk spoiled." --Mark Twain 
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." --Will Rogers 
"Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it." --Russel Lynes 
"The problem with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." --Franklin P. Jones 
"That's grosser than anything I've ever smelled or tasted." --My mom
"I know a lot of people without brains who do a lot of talking." --Scarecrow on The Wizard of Oz 
"A ship in a harbor is safe -- but that is not what ships are for." --John A. Shedd 
"Health nuts are going to feel real stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." --Redd Foxx 
"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?" --Steven Wright 
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